Christmas and a Milestone

Gabe's second Christmas home wasn't the best, unfortunately. I was hopeful this one would be better than the last but he was so sick and completely miserable. He screamed in pain for 5 days, barely ate and didn't do much of anything at all which is unheard of for our busy boy that never stops moving. He's feeling almost back to normal now but still lots of snot and cough/congestion. I guess being in school has caught up to him because the last couple months he can't seem to keep the colds away. Next year will be great, third times a charm, right?  We did get to enjoy going to a tree farm to cut down our own Christmas tree and Gabe loved it! We also got to enjoy Christmas Eve with the Sloan side of the family before he started feeling really bad so we did make a couple of good holiday memories.

Gabe has now been with us longer than he was with anyone else (birth family, orphanage, foster home). It's a bittersweet milestone because in a perfect world he would have been able to grow up with his birth family, but we live in a broken world and for reasons we will never know, his family couldn't raise him. I'm hoping he is starting to feel like we aren't going anywhere, he isn't going anywhere and this is permanent, we are his and he is ours forever. The next big milestone will be just after he turns 6, at that point he will have been with us longer than he was without us.

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and pray you all are blessed in this new year! I'm going to try to be more consistent on posting blog updates this year.😊

Enjoy the pictures below. You can see in one pic how he's starting to like (or be ok with) having a blanket on, especially if I warm it up in the dryer for a few minutes. Little prince. Haha!

20 Months On This Adoption Roller Coaster

Gabe has been home 20 months now. That's 20 months of joy and tears, happy times and hard times, laughter and heartbreak, love and learning, and all things in between! It's a roller coaster ride that's for sure! Gabe is having a bit of a hard time lately, every 2-3 months he gets in a funk like this, it's strange and it can last a week or up to a month. I've noticed weather change affects him and the weather in TN has been insane so maybe that's what's going on. I also think he's going through the terrible two's even though he's four. He's been having tantrums when he doesn't get his way or when he's told no and he's been giving all his "people" a hard time (teachers, therapists, TVI, O&M). Basically, he wants to do what HE wants to do and not do what anyone else wants him to do.  So, I was a little worried going into his IEP meeting this morning because I know how difficult he's been lately. I printed off several copies of this article http://www.bgcenter.com/BGPublications/OrphanageBehavior.htm on post orphanage behavior to give them a better understanding about him and his sometimes VERY difficult behavior. They all seemed eager to read it so that's good. I love all his people, ya'll! The first thing said this morning was "We just love him! Everyone is this building that knows him loves him!" That was followed by everyone talking "bragging" about all the progress he's made so far. I realize all IEP meetings don't go like this and I feel amazingly blessed by Gabe's wonderful team. We talked about kindergarten next year which i'm quite concerned about how a full day of school will go. He'll be in a regular classroom for some parts of the day and a special education class for the rest of the day. My plan is for him to be fully potty trained before kindergarten but if not they will work on it at school. Yay!

That's all Ive got for today. Please pray for Gabe to get his happy back. Love y'all!

By the way, muffin tins are hilarious!

Gabe Update - Home 16 Months!

It's been a long time (7 months) since I've written a blog update. Oops...life is busy! Anyway, Gabe has been home 16 months now and he's changed and grown so very much in that time.  Physically, he's grown 7 inches and 9 pounds,  3 of those pounds he gained in the first two weeks with us in China! He's a big Mongolian boy and he loves to eat! His biggest accomplishment lately is that he finally learned to chew and now he eats almost everything! I happily took him off the waiting list for feeding therapy. Yay!

It's no secret that Gabe had a difficult time adjusting to life after coming home and who could blame him?  Everything was new and different and he didn't ask for any of it. We were waiting for him and loving him from afar for a year but he wasn't waiting for us, he was happy right where he was. When you add blindness, not being able to communicate, and not being able to understand this new language.....well, its a lot for a little guy to handle. We were stuck in our house for almost a year because going anywhere was just too overwhelming for him. He would immediately cover his ears and cry in any place that wasn't home. So, we stayed home and waited for him to be comfortable and feel safe.

I'm happy to report we can now leave the house with him! I think a big turning point was starting preschool last January. School just started again this week and Gabe is doing amazing! He has been hesitant about walking in to his classroom, he pulls back so I'm basically dragging him and he whines. Once he's in he does just fine though so I'm taking it as a positive sign for our bonding and attachment.😃 In Gabe's classroom they have a special area just for him, it's a safe area for him to go in case he's feeling overwhelmed. Well, so far he has not used it at all in this first week of school, he's been participating in all the class activities!
A few things Gabe can do now that he didn't do when he came home:
-Feed himself finger foods- He is still hesitant to pick up some foods but we're making progress.
-Eat with utensils-we're still working on scooping.
- Play with toys- on his own terms. If he finds it himself he will explore it, if we give him something, he wants nothing to do with it.
-Use the potty. He will even sit on the big potty now, but we are far from him being potty trained.😕
-Shake his head 'yes and no' appropriately- sometimes....he's stubborn!
-Go up and down stairs independently.
-Starting to use his cane a little bit.
-Using a blanket and touching soft things.  He absolutely hated blankets, stuffed animals, anything with a soft texture and would get upset if he came in contact with these things. Now he uses a weighted blanket to sleep and has been intentionally touching fleece blankets and stuffed animals, even petting the dogs on occasion.

We were a little concerned in those early months about how often Gabe would stim, but we hardly ever see any of those now. The same is true about covering his ears with his hands, he still does this for comfort but it's so much less than before.  He seems to understand most of what we say to him now and that has made life a lot easier. I could go on and on I'm sure but i'll stop here for now and leave you guys with some pictures. Please pray with us that Gabe will be able to learn how to talk one of these days.

I went a tad bit crazy taking pics today.🙊

Traumaversary?

Look at this! Two blog posts in one month.😃(Ok, so I started writing it in December). As most of you know Gabe did not enjoy Christmas. He doesn't like changes in routines and schedules, he doesn't enjoy visiting relatives, he doesn't like the sound of paper tearing. Basically all things Christmas.  It was nothing like I imagined our first Christmas with him would be, but that's true for the whole adoption experience and it's ok because he's been through a lot, too much really. Our home is the fourth place he's lived in his short life. Can you even imagine? Not only the fourth place he's lived but he's had people come and go from his life and that's just hard, we are forever, he doesn't know it yet and he doesn't understand but time will help him to realize that we're here to stay.  Mike and I took shifts with Gabe at home while the other parent and other kids went to visit family during the holidays.  I'm hopeful that 2017 will bring lots of progress for our little guy and he will be able to enjoy doing things outside of our home without so much fear and anxiety.

On New Year's Eve Gabe woke up from a nap screaming for an hour and a half. We couldn't do anything to calm him.  I always think about the date when things like this happen, and wouldn't you know it had been 9 months to the day when we took Gabe out of his home country and away from the people that loved him, away from familiar food, smells, and language. On top of all that, as if that isn't enough, our travel day was so horrible. If it was traumatizing for Mike and I (and it was), it must've been even more so for Gabe. I think traumaversaries can happen even on a monthly basis sometimes, or at least it seems so from our experience.

Tomorrow is Gabe's first day of preschool! I'm praying he settles in does well. I think it will be good for him in so many ways. He's already come so far. Remember when we couldn't turn the television on without him freaking out? He has moved beyond that now, thank goodness! Keep the prayers coming, we need them!

8.5 Months Home

It's been so long! Sorry guys! It's kinda crazy how much time has passed already since bringing Gabe home. We're coming up on Christmas and we're happy to have our little guy here with us to celebrate this year,  even though he has no idea what Christmas is.

We've spent the first 8 months keeping Gabe's world very small, partly because it took so long to get his insurance going, but he truly needed that time to just be at home and get comfortable with his new life. The Lord works in mysterious ways, if he had insurance from the beginning we would have started all his appointments and therapies soon after coming home and I know now that he wouldn't have been ready for all of that. He has gone from being angry, upset, grouchy, and aggressive to  mostly a happy little guy (as long as we're at home). Still working on going places but we'll get there.

We finally made it to the ophthalmologist where he was diagnosed with Optic Nerve Hypoplasia, this condition affects the brain as well, so he's scheduled for a sedated MRI in January. He may still have some light perception but the doctor said we would have to wait until he can tell us because his pupils did not react to the light  You can see him squinting in the sunlight in one of the pictures below.

So, Gabe is getting started on all of his therapies which include: physical, occupational. speech, and feeding. He's also starting preschool on January 4th, three hours a day, Monday -Friday. His teacher is amazing, I love her already and his TVI is also very sweet and has so many ideas for the classroom.  The class has three typical kids and six special needs kids, Gabe will have either the teacher or and aide with him at all times, they take turns with the kids that need constant assistance. They have made a little safe area in the room for him start out in to get used to the sounds and just being in school without getting too overwhelmed being in the middle of all the kids. Once he gets comfortable they'll transition him to the regular routine. He will be starting orientation and mobility training in the spring and I'm really excited for him to learn to be more independent.

After months and months of barely any sleep I broke down and ordered a weighted blanket for Gabe, I was hesitant to buy one because they are pricey and he doesn't like blankets, but that blanket is magical!! We just put it on him after he falls asleep and he now sleeps without waking up for hours during the night. Woohoo!

Six Months Home!

Gabe has been home six months now. In some ways it seems crazy that it's been half a year, but in other ways I just can't believe we made it this far! My how things have changed and improved greatly. We still have a long ways to go but we will get there.

Gabe finally has insurance so I've been busy scheduling all the appointments he needs. He will be starting therapy and preschool in the next few months.  I think the schedule and routine of preschool will be good for him.

Below are a few facts about Gabe

Things Gabe likes:
-spinning
-jumping
-climbing
-swinging
-playing with daddy
-sleeping
-eating
-music
-slides
-water

Things Gabe doesn't like:
-going places (it's getting better though)
-feeding himself
-walking a lot
-waking up (that's getting better too)
-waiting 2 minutes for his breakfast to be made
-drinking water
-grass

Pictures!

Abby thought it would be hilarious for a Chinese boy to get a picture with a hay bale.

Gabe likes to booty bounce on the trampoline. Soon he'll be jumping all over it!

He's feeling the under side of the bench.

He was tired and ready to go home but the lighting is pretty. :)

Why are you so cute???

It's so nice to have the school playground right behind our house.

                                     

Laughing hysterically at the sound of the table moving on the patio.

I can't wait to see where we are in another six months. What a journey this has been. Thanks for following. We love ya'll!

The First Time

The First Time
About a year ago, my parents called my two brothers and I into their room. We thought we were going to be going on a vacation or a trip, but that wasn’t the case. My mom started off by saying, " How do you guys feel about adoption?" We were very confused at first. But I assumed she was wanting to adopt. It was silent. "Do you want to adopt?" I asked. My parents both looked at each other and my mom stated, "Your father and I have been looking at adoption websites and have had our eye on this one little boy for almost a year, we decided we wanted to adopt him and we were wondering if you guys would want to also." Me and my brothers looked at each other in shock. We didn’t know what to say. "Well, I will think about it, it’s a lot to take in all at once." Said Jake, my older brother. "Sure, I'm fine with it." Caleb, my younger brother stated. Then my parents looked at me. "What do you think about all of this Abby?" My dad asked. I was in such shock that I didn’t know what to think. I told them I would think about it too.
The next day I went into their room and I asked them a bunch of questions. They told me it was defiantly going to change our lives. They also said that he was blind. That made me think of how different things will be, living with a blind child. I asked my parents to describe him to me, so they did. They said he was born in China and abandoned outside on orphanage at 10 months. After one year, Bethel, an orphanage for visually impaired children, found him and brought him to their orphanage. He is very blessed to have gotten to bethel because his other orphanage was very bad. Bethel named him Gong Xin, which means treasure.
My mom had seen him on the bethel website several times and felt that she had to adopt him because she keeps seeing pictures of that specific kid. I helped pick his American name. We all decided to name him Gabe, but his middle name would be Gong Xin.Adoption is a very long process, but after one year of fundraisers, phone calls, inspections, interviews, and a whole lot of paper work, we would finally get to bring him home.
In March, my parents left for China and would be gone for two weeks. Me and my two brothers had to stay with my aunt while they were gone, because we had to go to school. But finally on March 31, 2016 they had come home. My whole family was waiting at the airport. It was 10 pm. I was nervous but excited at the same time. We saw them get off the plane and I was so relieved to see that my parents and my newly adopted brother had made it home safely. Holding him for the first time was the most amazing feeling. It was as if I had known him for so long and treated him like a brother my whole life even though it had been my first time actually seeing him and holding him in person.
He was only three years old, which meant I had to act differently around him because my other two brothers are much older. Now that we would be living with him and he was so young, we would have to be much quieter when he naps and much more careful, especially since he's blind. This also made me think differently on how much more challenging his life is than mine. I need to be more appreciative and helpful to others because I may have something that they wish they had.
Gabe has been home for five months now and is adjusting quite well. He knows our voices and loves to be held. It impresses me on how he is doing se well after being through so much in his life time. He has had many people come and go in his life time and never knows where he is going or what is going on but he stays brave. We really want him to know that we
are never and will never leave him. So that he can go to sleep at night knowing we will be there when he wakes up.
This experience taught me not to take things for granted because Gabe only got to eat rice and milk every day before we adopted him and he never really knew what a family was or meant. I am lucky enough to have a family that I love and trust. Also to have a variety of food which I can eat at any time unlike he could. Gabe inspired me to push my limits and to never give up. Because he never gave up.

Written by: Abby Sloan